Feelings when someone died of Covid-19 or during the pandemic

Shock

Their death may have been unexpected or become serious very quickly. This can lead to feelings of shock. If you weren’t able to be present for the death or couldn’t view the body it can take time to accept the reality of the death.

Trauma

You may not have had an opportunity to spend time with the person while they were dying, or been able to say a proper goodbye. This can be very painful and traumatic.

You may have also read or seen difficult stories in the media or you may have witnessed distressing scenes directly that can add to the trauma of their death.

Anger and guilt

You may also have concerns about the care the person received before they died. This in turn can lead to feelings of anger and guilt. You might feel that their death could have been prevented which might lead to anger with others or guilt that you couldn’t protect them.

Isolation

If you were bereaved during lockdown or during restrictions you might have missed out on support and love from your other friends and family.

Funerals

You may not have been able to have the funeral or memorial service you wanted. Numbers may have been restricted and you may not have been able to attend if you were isolating or ill yourself. Not having the usual routines to follow after someone dies can feel very strange and painful.

What can help

The initial reactions of anger, shock and fear will reduce over time.You will have bad days and better days as you grieve.

• Talk to someone

Talk to family, friends, or to someone who has had similar experiences. Your GP may be able to help if your mental or physical health is suffering. You can also contact us at Cruse. Find out the ways we can support you.

• Look after yourself

Try and get some fresh air or sunlight each day. Exercise can be really helpful, even if it’s just a walk around the block. Keeping to a routine can help, and resting even if you can’t sleep. Read more about managing grief.

• Remembering

There are lots of different ways to remember someone (link). If you weren’t able to have the funeral you would have wanted, you could plan another service or memorial event when it’s possible.

If you weren’t able to say goodbye or talk to your relative or friend before they died, many people find it helps to write them a letter or find another way to say what you need to. Some people find keeping a journal is useful.