Baby Loss

Baby loss is the death of a baby. This may be experienced as miscarriage, still birth, medical termination or neonatal death. Each type of loss brings with it different issues and obstacles. However, it’s usual for people effected to share an initial expectancy that their baby will live. People fantasise how the future might be with their new baby. 

Grief is profound. The death of a baby is an incredibly isolating experience bringing with it a whole raft of extra issues that other people can struggle to relate to. 

Supporting someone who has experienced baby loss 

There are many possible factors to be sensitive to. Support may be needed on any of these. 

• What type of loss was it and how this influences their grief.
• Managing the possible tsunami of emotions.
• The realigning of relationships with people around them.
• Returning to work.
• The media and how to engage with it moving forward.
• Navigating days with special meaning.
• Deciding (if possible) to try again and managing the anxiety that brings.

When offering support, it’s helpful to have some understanding of grief in general and awareness of some of the issues involved with baby loss. However, it’s not essential. Being kind and compassionate, and available to listen and accept the grieving person where they are at, at any given moment, is so important.  

Highlight the value of being part of a supportive community, having connections with people who can be trusted. Also, helping those who are grieving to work out how they can support themselves is so important. Seeking help when needed, can really make a positive difference. 

Supporting yourself  

• Talk to someone 

Talking can really help make sense of the way you are feeling, whether this is with friends and family or a professional. We have also included links to support below.  

• Find ways to remember them 

You might find it comforting to find ways to remember your baby or mark their loss, perhaps by lighting a candle on a significant date or keeping a photograph of a scan in a frame.  

• Plan ahead on anniversaries  

Significant dates such as due dates or birthdays are difficult after someone dies. Some days might remind you of occasions you had planned to spend with your baby and can feel especially difficult without them. It helps to plan how you are going to spend the day in advance.  

• Writing (journaling) 

Writing a letter can be a really helpful way to express your feelings. Putting things down in words allows you to clarify your thoughts. 

Further information 

• Miscarriage Association 
•  Tommys
• Sands
• Petals
• Lily Mae Foundation (Midlands)