Christmas can be really difficult when you’re grieving. When you’re bombarded with memories of the years before, it can be hard not to spend the day thinking of those who have died. If you’re facing Christmas after a bereavement, it might help to find some special ways to remember them.

Ways to remember someone at Christmas

• Remember them with decorations

Try making your friend or relative part of your day through your Christmas decorations. Some people like to light a special candle near a picture of their loved one. Or you could hang something of theirs on the Christmas tree, or hang up a decoration including their name or picture.

• Buy them a present 

It might feel strange but there is no reason why you shouldn’t buy a present or write a card to someone who has died, if it feels right for you.

• Buy yourself a present they would have wanted you to have

You are important too – it’s fine to buy yourself something you know they would want you to have. If they always got you jewellery, buy yourself some jewellery. If they bought you day trips or weekend aways, plan a trip you can go on in their memory after the festive season.

• Do something that they would have enjoyed

Another way to remember someone is to do something you know they would have enjoyed. You might like to get together with friends or family and watch their favourite film, or listen to some Christmas music you know they liked. Or you could go on a walk to somewhere that has meaning for you all.

• Share your memories

Talking about someone who has died can be comforting. If you are meeting with friends and family at Christmas it can be a really nice time to take it in turns to share a memory or story about the person you’ve lost.

• Add a decoration in memory of a loved one to our virtual Christmas tree

This Christmas, we’re inviting people to make a small donation and add a decoration to our virtual Christmas tree. Find out more.

Christmas can be a time to focus on memories of good times, but it can also be an intensely emotional time. Be kind to yourself and ask for help if you need it.